Ad Lib
Pet peeve of the week? The commercial for this product.
You know it. The two women sitting around in robes in a spa eating Yoplait Chocolate Whips yogurt. And then they start with the awful similes…"This is like chocolate body wrap good," blah, blah blah.
Now, I am aware I most likely view the commercial in a disproportional amount because, well, I watch the Style network like it’s going out of…no, sorry, just can’t do that to you. And I hate almost all the shows on that network! But I can’t stop watching! You have to see how the makeovers turn out! Damn you, Finola Hughes! Damn you! I hate your show and only watch it everyday after ballet! You must emit some sick, air-born drug out of the TV because that’s the only reason I watch you and your "accomplices" (like you would ever want to mingle with us commoners…that’s right, I said it, you British snob) degrade people and pounce on their self-esteem like a German Shepard on a Kong.
Why does this grate on my nerves so much? Chocolate body wraps? Chocolate bubble baths? Chocolate covered heels? No, people. Chocolate is a food. It goes in your mouth. Anything else is a violation of health codes. Unless this is some weird marketing ploy to make us imagine these two girls slathering each other in chocolate goo and acting out some crazy male fantasy (they are, after all, costumed in matching bathrobes with the implication there is nothing underneath)…but no, this is aired on the Style network and they’re talking about shoe shopping - not two turnons in my understanding of the heterosexual male. This is supposed to make me want to buy chocolate yogurt, but it really just makes me want to go take a shower.
And these women are at what looks to be a fancy spa. Why on earth are they eating 69 cent yogurt?! I understand the marketing geniuses at Yoplait are trying to say their product is good enough to eat at a spa, but damn it, if I’m playing $75 for a facial and $100 for your freaking "ultimate pedicure," - plus tip - you’d better have some fancy spa chef with the fancy chef hat making me grilled organic eggplant and zucchini served over a bed of spring greens and quinoa.
Some might say I dislike this commercial so much because it encourages me to buy whipped yogurt, which is really just regular yogurt whipped with air so you buy more air and less product. But until you give me Jean André, his fancy chef hat, and my quinoa, I’m still going to say "eww." And take a regular bath. With soap.
