Ain’t No Separation
Sometimes you feel like a right-wing nut job. Sometimes you don’t.
There is no denying that I live in the Buckle of the Bible Belt. Nashville is the Vatican of the South. It hosts the national conventions for nearly all the Protestant churches. While these are facts, they remain abstract and difficult to get your mind around. Until you see it.
We went to Matthew’s girls soccer banquet last Thursday night (you’ll remember my fretting over what to wear to - oh my gosh! - meet new people. I decided on a black sheath dress I had in my closet and felt surprisingly fabulous. Probably because it was free).
Matthew coaches girls and boys soccer and boys basketball for Beech High School, the local high school about 15 minutes from our place (this is the primary reason he a) does not sleep more than five hours a day and b) we are awake at the same time and in the same place for about an hour a day). He loved coaching these girls and always talked about how well-behaved and sweet they are.
The banquet for this *public* high school was held in the venue across the street: Long Hollow Baptist Church.
First off, can you imagine the stink this would have caused in Montgomery County, Maryland? Case in point: the controversy sparked this summer when MoCo wanted to host a high school graduation in a non-denominational church because it had the best parking and was the best venue for the price. Parents went into lawsuit mode and the graduation was moved somewhere smaller with no parking.
I have never seen anything like this. This church is not a church, but a single campus of a church. It is a huge complex. It has an auditorium-like worship area (seriously, it’s creepy. Call me a traditionalist, call me crazy, but shouldn’t a church have something in the architecture referring to God? There isn’t even a cross inside this thing). It has two playgrounds. It has classroom after classroom after classroom, followed by portable classroom after portable classroom. It has volleyball courts. They are building two full-size basketball courts. We were in the Dome, a venue set up for catering and gatherings that could easily seat 200 people. 3,000 families attend church every Sunday.
There is also Wednesday night dinner and services, which everyone participates in here, so much so that there are traffic jams around 6 pm every Wednesday night with people going to services, and then by 7 pm the roads are deserted.
My church at home (my parent’s church, I suppose), approximately 2,000 people attend church. The annual budget for the church is a little less than $200,000.
Long Hollow Baptist, Inc.? $5 million.
Now, I suppose I’m being unfair. But it’s just all so different to me I can’t help but think it’s a little weird.
And it gets weirder. Before the basketball banquet itself starts, guess what we do? We pray. Yes, at this school function somebody gets up in front of everyone and says the name Jesus. I went with Matthew to his basketball chili dinner the next night and the same thing happened - a senior basketball player got up and prayed with everyone.
I have such a knee-jerk reaction to this. People say the word "prayer" and I immediately start looking around to see if anyone is having convulsions and shouting "get a lawyer, stat!" But it doesn’t phase a single soul (pun intended).
At the same time, there’s something really…great about it all. The girls got up and thanked their senior co-captains, exclaiming, "we jus’ wanna, like, thank y’all for being such great players, and jus’ wanna, like, ya know, letcha know y’all are such great Christain leaders."
(Try combining Valley Girl and Southern Belle, mixed with a splash of TRL, and served in a public speaking venue. It’s a wacky linguistic combination!)
When was the last time you heard someone praised for being a good person? When was the last time you heard teenage girls telling someone they admired them for their faith?
It’s refreshing, is what it is. And you can see it in the kids. The cheerleaders are cute, fresh-faced cheerleaders. They look nice. They don’t look like the Junior Stripper Squad. The basketball boys are sweet - they stand up straight, they tuck in their shirts, they come up to you and ask "Coach Holmes, is this yer lovely wafe?" before they introduce themselves - complete with proper handshake. The moms look like moms - you know, they have their hair frosted to cover up the greys, they wear Beech Bucs sweatshirts and sport mom jeans (the light colored wash, tapered kind with high elastic waistbands). Have you been to a high school football game lately? The moms dress as slutty or sluttier than their teenage daughters. And if this is what happens when you talk about being a religious person, than gosh darnnit, that’s okay.
Funny thing is, it’s not like these people (can I use that phrase? Stat!) don’t realize they are an anomaly in this world. I got into a conversation about it with Matthew’s co-coach of the basketball team (who, by the way, is really nice and seems to like me. Potential friend? Cha-ching!). He said he feels they even overdo it sometimes, just like I feel we at home overdo it in the opposite direction so you can’t even talk about it, and get sued if you do. He said it’s great Long Hollow does so much for the school for no cost and that they’re such a big part of the community, but it sometimes feels awkward. He wishes, like me, there were some balance.
And, as he so wonderfully put it, "ain’t no separation."
