My Ballerina Diet
After realizing my ballet teacher is the same height and has the same bone structure as me but weighs about thirty pounds less, I’ve decided to go on a diet.
(It’s completely weird, by the way, to be the "biggest" person in class. Over the past 5 months I’ve lost about 12 pounds and I’m back to my high school and college weight of *normal*, which makes me super proud. I’ve got my body-image issues - okay, I’ve got body-image issues, but I’m of the thought that 96% of women have some mild form of an eating disorder. Mild! I said mild! And come on - when was the last time you ate too much of whateverdoodles and then felt bad about yourself? Told yourself you couldn’t eat x, y, or z because you’re going to a party/you’re getting married/it’s New Years/it’s Monday? Ever looked at your Lindsey Lohans of the world and thought "sigh"? Eww, Lindsey Lohan - okay, your Jennifers or your Angelinas or your Kates? I thought so. That, my friend, is an unhealthy relationship with food, aka an disordered relationship with eating, aka an eating disorder. If you don’t have some mild version of it, call me because I need to know your secret. And so does everyone else.)
(Okay, so maybe eating disorder isn’t the best term. Let’s say a disordered body image. You happy?)
(Oh, yeah, back to being big. So I don’t think of myself as big, generally. I’m pretty okay, I think. But I have, by far, the broadest shoulders of the group. Oh, and my chest? Let’s just say this is the only time in my life I have ever felt I needed a sports bra. Which is kind of a cool feeling - go me! Of course, that could stem from my teenage birthday present of a homemade lotion dispenser that my well-endowed mom appliqued "Kissa’s Miracle Grow Chest Enhancer," complete with a picture of a Care Bear. Which she gave to me in front of my entire family. For more on my slightly twisted, in a quirky-but-not-serial-killer-way-I-swear, childhood, see later entries.)
Here’s my progress for the day:
Breakfast: Mini bagel with low fat cream cheese.
Snack: Banana
Lunch: Salad with low fat dressing, low fat organic frozen burrito, 12 Wheat Thins
Snack: Mini Three Musketeers bar left over from Halloween
Dinner: Piece of frozen, super-veggie-no-meat-healthy pizza (can you tell neither of us has time to cook?).
Snack 10 minutes later: Another piece of pizza
Snack 5 minutes later: Another piece of pizza
Snack 15 minutes later: Remaining sliver of pizza - I swear I only had 2.5 servings total, which adds up to 650 calories and 17 grams of fat, 6 grams of….
Oh, [expletive]. I give up.
