Glossary of Commonly Used Terms
Why am I writing this post? Because I feel like it.
Chou Chou: (French) Our adoptive cat who visits us daily and whines outside our door until I give him milk and tuna fish. Short for Mon Petit Chou Chou, which is French for "My Adorable Little Cabbage." Pronounced "shoo shoo." And now you know why.
Crackerbarrelville: Any location that requires turning left at the entrance to my apartment complex. In other words, turning north away from the city and into (gasp) the country. True to its namesake, Crackerbarrelville is an appealing place where people are friendly, the food is good, and there is pretty-smelling hand soap, but it can also get old if you go there too often and miss seeing people wear shirts that don’t have pictures of dogs on them. Characters include Overly Friendly Guy, Old Lady Smoker, High School Cheerleader who Pronounces "Bucs" as "Ba-uh-cs" and the 20-Something Who Wears Gauchos.
Connect Group: A fancy name for adult Sunday school, this is a class which prepares couples for and discusses the Christian marriage. We’re taking this to make friends and try to be better people. Characters include I Know You are a Heathen Man Who Calls Me Smarty Pants (grr), The What is it You Do Again? You’re a Corrupt Politician Who Shouldn’t Be in Church? Woman, Men Who Know Entirely too Much About Cars, and Women Who Wear Jesus Girl Shirts.
Fancy French words in italics: Ballet terms for things I wish I could do.
La Meriodionale Ballerina: (Italian). Hee hee hee…get it? Get it?
Legislative Research Assistant: (Sigh). I don’t know.
Leotard: Standard dancewear for people who never eat bread, cheese, or chocolate.
Normal Clothes: Any outfit that requires the use of normal undergarments and a hairstyle other than my usual ponytail with headband.
Northern Breakfast: A breakfast consisting of any of the following: cold cereal with skim milk, bagels and low-fat cream cheese, sliced fruit (especially cantaloupe and honeydew melon), pancakes, turkey bacon, oatmeal, roasted potatoes cooked with spices, chai tea, green tea, French toast made with egg whites, waffles, the tiniest amount of syrup but never butter, or wheat toast with organic peanut butter and jam. Never includes any of the following: eggs, bacon, sausage, ham, white toast with butter, coffee, sugary fruit topping passed off as fruit, biscuits, or gravy. Well…maybe biscuits sometimes.
Telecommuting: Working from home, or, sitting at your computer all day because you’re afraid you’ll miss an email and never changing out of your pajamas. It takes some getting used to.
The Abyss: My apartment. Aptly named, there are days I do not emerge from it, much like a cave. Also named for its tendency to swallow anything I am looking for at the time (including my brand new ballet shoes, my tax documents, my favorite sweater…).
The Big Meeting: The company-wide meeting we had in January. I’m scared. Hold me.
The Boy: My favorite news anchor. Also, the perfect guy. When you have someone that skimps on the little sleep he gets just to make sure you have a Northern breakfast daily, you’ve got it made.
The Navy S.E.A.L.: My ballet teacher who never smiles and works us so hard I can’t feel my feet the next day. She is a stout 60-year-old who regularly kicks my (expletive).
The North: Home
