Notlanta
Granted, we were not in Atlanta proper but in Stone Mountain Park for Easter with Matthew’s family, but guess what? Nashville is totally less redneck. HA!
I was in a bad mood this Easter, mostly because my parents alternated between not calling me over the holiday weekend and telling me I’m going to hell.
(Okay, I’m slightly exaggerating. Slightly.)
Keeping in my that my bad mood colored my assessment of the experience, here are some jaded things I found disturbing about my trip to Georgia:
- The Coke factory tour depiction of African mothers giving their babies Coke to drink. Such a healthy substitute for breast milk.
- The Coke factory in general. Mr. Holmes, whom I love dearly, thought it would be a nice experience, but it really just solidified my opinion that carbonated beverages are evil. Okay, maybe I liked some of the art that depicted these adorable 1920’s shift dresses…in beautiful muted blues…
- Stone Mountain’s carvings of Confederate heroes. I actually kind of get the whole "it’s part of our heritage" thing. Kind of. But what really bugs me is that they needed to turn this natural wonder into an amusement park. Can’t people just enjoy hiking up a mountain to beautiful views? But I guess dogwoods can’t charge $9 to park.
- That said, the prices. There were $8 per person train ride tours (which we took because Mrs. Holmes is sick and can’t walk far), complete with a song and dance number. There was $6 popcorn ($6?!). There were $9 boat tours (which was fun but not $9 fun…I feel sorry for people with little kids that need to do all this stuff). Let’s just say after the Holmes left, Matthew and I looked at each other and said, "wanna walk around the nature trail? It’s free."
- The use of a natural landmark for things like the laser light show. Us girls (Mrs. Holmes, me, and Katie) went to the laser light show instead of the Braves game because Mrs. Holmes isn’t feeling well and wasn’t up to the game (and also because I have a low BIT index - Baseball Innings Tolerance Index…mine’s about a 6. I think Mrs. Holmes is a 3 and Katie is a 0.5). Okay, maybe my issue is with laser light shows in general - wasn’t the last time we got excited about lasers in 9th grade history when someone used their laser pointer to make Mr. Gannon’s butt have green dots on it?
- The kitch. I love Gone With the Wind as much as the next person who wishes she could carry a parasol over the age of 7, but not everything is "just like Tara."
- The heat. Holy crap, it’s April and I’m dying in a tank top and loose skirt. No, thank you.
- The traffic. They aren’t playing when they say it’s bad, even over the weekend.
- The overuse of Georgia songs. The Devil Went Down to Georgia. Georgia on My Mind. Midnight Train to Georgia. Yeah, your state is cool. We get it.
- The overuse of the word Peachtree in street names - can’t we be a little more creative and not confuse people? Peach Lane? Peach Avenue? Peach Park Street? Okay, now I’m just being picky.
That all said, here are pictures from our weekend:
Gosh, am I negative. Maybe my parents are right - the Devil went down to Georgia indeed. And paid $4.50 for her 12-ounce bottle of water.
