My Intended
The Boy and I are engaged!!!
Friday afternoon was spent on a gorgeous beach in the Bahamas. Just before we left to get back on the ship, Matthew asked me to come look for seashells along the beach.
I will not discuss here the fact that I was not in the most…affectionate of moods, since I had just disembarked from a Banana Boat and had endured 15 minutes of getting salt water sprayed directly into my contact-laden eyes (Oh, the burning). I think my first reaction to his proposition to go seashell hunting was something like, "I can’t look for seashells since I can’t see." Fortunately, I was convinced to "look with my feet." Begrudgingly.
The beach is deserted since everyone is lined up to get back on the boats to get back on the ship (In fact, we are set to sail in less than an hour, a fact that elicited more protest from goody goody two shoes me. Again, we will not discuss this here). Matthew and I waded into the water and the next thing I know he’s kneeling.
Of course, I think this is just great seashell hunting technique. This understanding is reinforced when he finds a seashell within a minute.
He hands it to me…and there’s a ring in it.
Then everything happens all at once. He asks, "will you?" I nod (I think), register that he slips the ring on my finger, and start to cry as a cruise employee yells at us to get out of the water so we can go back to the ship. My knees are shaky and I can’t speak and I kind of hear him talking about his grandmother’s engagement ring. I think I say something along the lines of, "I…seashells?"
And here’s the best part - I feel completely calm. Not spastic, DeBeers girl screaming. Just content and relaxed and excited.
(Second best part: as we stood on the balcony of the ship, looking back at our beach, we remarked that we’d have to come back to the scene frequently to celebrate. Upon further reflection, Matthew, always the romantic, said he knew he should have proposed at a baseball diamond.)
It’s perfect.
August 2nd, 2006 at 2:01 pm
Awww, congrats. I am still in shock. C&M 4eva.
August 3rd, 2006 at 9:14 am
Outstanding. Congratulations! I’m so, um happy, yeah happy, for you… Oh boy. Who am I kidding. I’m not happy. I’m jealous. Ever since my wife, sorry, EX-wife, walked out on me, my life has been one meaningless sexual conquest after another. Bouncing from supermodel to uber-supermodel, from regular model to girl-nextdoor, from girl-at-TGIFridays to “girl” behind 7-11, and then back to supermodel–I tell you it gets old. I want a woman I can grow old with. Who I can sit and reminisce on the good times, like when I came off the bench in the ‘84 NBA finals for the final 2 minutes of the game and drew 5 charges! Booya!!
Anyways, you would think that having ravishingly good looks, chiseled physique, and a personality that could charm a nun into renouncing her sacred vows would be enough to find a soulmate, but you’d be wrong. Dead wrong. I don’t understand it. Maybe I’m intimidating to women, and by comparison they realize they can’t compare to the total package I offer.
For example, get this, I’ll tell you of a recent failed attempt at finding a yin for my wang, I mean Yang-haha! (See, I’ve got a sense of humor too! Ladies call 555-202-1234) So, I meant this charming little lady at Rosco’s House of Chicken and Waffles, down on Pico Boulevard. I see her licking the grease off her fingers after polishing off her meal (Sco’s special #2 with a side of gravy and giblets!) and I knew she was something special. We made eye contact, and I knew I had to make a move. After a swig of Mr. Pibb, and a couple extra pumps on my Reebok’s I made my way over to her. I said, “Hi” and she said, “Hi.” I looked her up and down and said, “You’ve got great child-bearing hips.” At this she slapped my so hard, my horn-rimmed glasses went flying right into someone’s mac & cheese. Needless to say, I was a little red-faced. But it proves my point: Chicks totally dig me, but the thought of settling down, sharing a life, and making kids isn’t for everyone.
So I guess for now, I’ll have to get used to the bachelor life–and maybe someday I can find that special dame to share the things I love, like lay-ups, boxing-out, fundamentally-sound defense, chest passes, and earthshaking orgasms. Until then, I’ll be around ladies. Call me! Peace!
P.S. Congrats again, and I will be there in my finest garments: http://www.kurtrambis.com/s_rambis.jpg
August 7th, 2006 at 12:48 pm
You have to show me those cruise pics! Seriously! I can’t wait to see em.
Love yah,
A