La Meridionale Ballerina

I’m on a carbon diet.

Oh, I’m on a regular diet, too, which I just blew for the fourth time this week by finishing off a box of crackers.  But a carbon diet is an attempt to reduce the amount of carbon dioxide I produce by becoming more energy efficient - turning off lights, driving less, recycling, pulling a good old Jimmy Carter and wearing a sweater.

The Boy thinks it’s hilarious.  I’m always cold, so when he comes home to find me wrapped up in two blankets he says, "honey, you’re not saving the planet if you have to drive to the doctor when you get sick, right?"

Good point. 

But this energy efficiency, do-gooderness made me start thinking about how wasteful a wedding can be.  Confeiti, flowers full of pesticides shipped from far distances, more food than anyone could eat…

Which of course, ties into the idea that weddings have become excessive in the first place.  I’ve been asking my parents, The Boy’s parents, and my grandparents about their weddings, and each involved a simple ceremony followed by cold cuts in the church hall.

I wish I could emulate them.  But I can’t ask people to fly hundreds of miles and feed them cold cuts (right)?

Things are different nowadays.  I live several states away from my parents, who live several states away from their parents. 

There’s a fine line between accomodating guests and excess, and I definitely think people drift over into the "I’m doing this to show off" rhelm.  That’s why I want to make sure I ask myself before making decisions if I’m making them for the right reasons. 

It’s no longer good enough to send an invitation - we are so busy we need a pre-invitation 6 months in advance.  Guests cannot be left to fare with hotel mints on their pillows - they need a welcome basket.  Wedding cake is no longer enough of a dessert - after a cocktail hour and a five course dinner we still have plenty of room for a dessert bar, a fondue station, and a coffee bar. 

As our culture evolves, so must our etiquette.  So Save-the-Dates have become necessary to accomodate travel plans.  Our guest rooms are all converted offices now, so we no longer have room to accomodate our families - hence, the welcome baskets.  I see how these things have become necessary "niceities."  I also see how they’ve incorporated our buying culture.

It’s all about striking a balance, of course.  There are plenty of ways to make a wedding more "green."  Recycled paper is a start.  There’s organic food, organic flowers, eco-friendly tourism.  And there’s what I think is the biggest thing to keep in mind: being realistic.  I know my budget will help me keep the urge to overspend in check.

Now if only I could figure out a way to make my feet stay warm with the thermostat set to 60…

Ah, wedding venues.  Looking for them in DC is a total blast.  Especially since this scenerio is quite common:

*Start to browse website.*

"Hmm…seats up to 200, that’s great…lots of parking…wow, what a pretty ceiling….let’s check the prices…$10,000 for a site fee?!?!?"

*Shuts window in disgust and with irrational fear that I may be charged for looking at the website.  Instinctively moves Visa as far away from keyboard as possible…just in case.*

Thankfully, there are a few slightly more reasonable sites, if you’re still willing to pay a hefty site fee.  We scoped the following out on our second trip:

Inn at Brookville Farms:

Only it’s not an inn; it’s a restaurant. 

My mom loved the place.  It was also the first reception site she scoped out, so she would have loved anything.  All the pictures she took are blurry because she was so nervous.  It certainly didn’t blow my socks off, that’s for sure.  I can’t put my finger on just why. 

The plus: It is an all-inclusive package (no site fee; just pay for dinner and alcohol). 

The minus: That the alcohol is about $30 a person and I just don’t think everyone will drink $30 worth of liquor in 4 hours.  Perhaps I’m naive.

On to our next option: Woodend Sanctuary:

Isn’t it pretty?

Here’s the problem: There’s a $5,600 site fee for the date we’re looking at and the reception site is…less than desireable.  For that price I expect everything but what we got: bad lighting, a plastic tent, dirty bathrooms, and a room full of stuffed birds.  That, well, smell.

The view of the lawn in person:

Hmm…

The pluses: It looks quite pretty in pictures.  And the little bird nest with blue jelly beans favors I’m in love with would be quite appropriate.

The minuses: It doesn’t look quite so pretty in person and is nearly impossible to get to (we drove down a street, made a left to take the detour to go right, drove through a muddy construction site, came back to the original street, turned around…can you imagine writing those directions in an invitation?). Oh, and the smell.

This made me pretty disappointed.  If the place with the large site fee wasn’t what I was looking for, how would I find something that fit my budget?

And all this searching led me to wonder - how do you know what place is best for you?  Do you just walk into a place and know?  Or is that idea absurd?

Thankfully, I have lots of time to figure it out.  But I’m moving my Visa card away from the computer just in case.